Wednesday, September 20, 2006

From Barb

Seven Stages of the Married Cold

  • Stage 1:
    Sugar dumpling, I've really been worried about my baby girl. That's a bad sniffle and there's no telling about these things with all the strep that's going around. I'm going to put you in the hospital for a general check-up and a good rest. I know the food's terrible, but I'm going to bring you dinner every night from Rosini's. I've got it all arranged with the floor supervisor.

    Stage 2:
    Listen, darling, I don't like the sound of that cough. I'm going to call Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go to bed like a good girl just for papa.

    Stage 3:
    Maybe you'd better lie down, honey. Nothing like a little rest when you're feeling lousy. I'll bring you something. Have we got any canned soup?

    Stage 4:
    Now look, dear, be sensible. After you've fed the kids and gotten the dishes done and the floor mopped, you'd better lie down for a while.

    Stage 5:
    Why don't you take a couple of aspirins?

    Stage 6:
    Try gargling or something instead of just sitting around barking like a seal all evening!

    Stage 7:
    Would you stop coughing on me?!? Are you trying to give me pneumonia?!?

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