Thursday, October 5, 2006

Joke

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

She replied, "Yes or No."

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Tuesday, October 3, 2006

Bringing Autumn To You & John

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Joke

Dept. of the Army
Regulations For Operation Of Aircraft
Commencing January 1920

1. Don't take the machine into the air unless you are satisfied it will fly.

2. Never leave the ground with the motor leaking.

3. Don't turn sharply when taxiing. Instead of turning sharp, have someone lift the tail around.

4. In taking off, look at the ground and the air.

5. Never get out of the machine with the motor running until the pilot relieving you can reach the motor controls.

6. Pilots should carry hankies in a handy place to wipe off goggles.

7. Riding on the steps, wings, or rail of the machine is prohibited.

8. In case the engine fails on takeoff, land straight ahead regardless of obstacles.

9. No machine must taxi faster than a man can walk.

10. Never run motor so that blast will blow on other machines.

11. Learn to gauge altitude, especially on landing.

12. If you see another machine near you, get out of the way.

13. No two cadets should ever ride together in the same machine.

14. Do not trust altitude instruments.

15. Before you begin a landing glide, see that no machines are under you.

16. Hedge-hopping will not be tolerated.

17. No spins on back or tail sides will be indulged in as they unnecessarily strain the machines.

18. If flying against the wind and you wish to fly with the wind, don't make a sharp turn near the ground. You may crash.

19. Motors have been known to stop during a long glide. If pilot wishes to use motor for landing, he should open the throttle.

20. Don't attempt to force the machine onto the ground with more than flying speed. The result is bounding and ricocheting.

21. Pilots will not wear spurs while flying.

22. Do not use aeronautical gasoline in cars or motorcycles.

23. You must not take off or land closer than 50 feet to the hanger.

24. Never take a machine into the air until you are familiar with it's controls and instruments.

25. If an emergency occurs while flying, land as soon as possible.


Monday, October 2, 2006

Joke

The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recuiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. So, he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and that all elgible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near an brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them.

The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself. He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"

The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!"

The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!" The aide hustles the young man off.

The general looks at the second young man and asked,"What skills to you bring to the Air Force?"

The young man says, "I chop wood!"

"Son," the general replies, "we don't need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?"

"I chop wood!"

"Young man," huffs the general, "you are not listening to me, we don't need wood choppers, this is the 20th century!"

"Well," the young man says, "you hired my brother!"

"Of course we did," says the general, "he's a pilot!"

The young man rolls his eyes and says, "Dang it, I have to chop it before he can pile it!"


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From Merry

Dear John and Krissy,
Hi!  I just wanted to stop by and say hello and remind you that you are being thought of with warm hugs and prayers going up as usual.  It was a beautiful fall day here in Mason City, IA.  Fall is here and we had an 80 degree day!  I a few things to share with you:
 
"Friendship is a word the very sight of which in print makes the heart warm." ~Augustine Birrell~
 
"There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends.  I have no notion of loving people by halves." ~Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey~
 
John and Krissy, many of us care and remember that:  "Friends are relatives you make yourselves." ~Aristotle~
Until next time,
Merry
merry1621@aol.com

From Jeanne

 
John & Krissy,
 
Wishing you happiness and joy and sunshine and fun and rainbows and love and peace and contentment and family and friends and GOOD HEALTH and everything and anything else that could possibly want.
th60pooh.gif

Sunday, October 1, 2006

From Sassy

Martha VS Maxine 

  
 *Martha's Way*               *Maxine's Way *      

Stuff a miniature marshmallow in           Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom
the bottom of the cone to prevent           of the cone, for Pet's sake!  You are
ice cream drips.                                     probably lying on the couch with your

                                                            
feet up eating it anyway!


To keep potatoes from budding,              Buy Hungry Jack Mashed Potato Mix.
place an apple in the bottom of the          Keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
bag with the potatoes.

When a cake recipe calls for                   Go to the bakery!  They'll even decorate
flouring the baking pan, use a bit            it for you!
of the dry cake mix instead, and
there won't be any white mess on
the outside of the cake.

If you accidentally over salt a dish         If you over salt a dish while you are
while it's still cooking, drop a peeled      cooking, too bad.  Please recite with me
potato and it will absorb the excess        the real woman's motto, "
I made it and
salt for an instant "fix-me-up".               you will eat it and I don't care how bad 
                                                              it tastes!
"

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when          Celery??  Never heard of it!!
putting in the refrigerator and it
will keep for weeks.

Brush some beaten egg whites over         The Mrs. Smith's frozen pie directions
pie crust before baking to yield a           don't include brushing egg whites over
beautiful glossy finish.                           the crust so I don't.

Cure for headaches:  Take a lime, cut     Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill, and
it in half and rub it over your fore-         drink!
head.  The throbbing will go away.

If you have a problem opening jars,         Go ask the very cute neighbor if he can
try latex dishwashing gloves.  They          open it for you.
give a non-slip grip that makes opening
jars easy.

Don't throw out all that leftover wine.      Leftover wine???????? HELLO!!!!!!!!
Freeze into ice cubes for future
use in casseroles and sauces.


The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.


Do you realize that in about forty years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?


Money can't buy happiness...but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche ! than in a Hyundai.

Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

As usual, if you don't forward this to ten of your friends within the next five minutes, your belly button will fall off.  Really, it's true!  Have I ever lied to you?

 
Love, hugs, and lots of laughs

SassyDee50@aol.com

From Jill

To John and Krissy,
Times like this make us look inside and draw from our very core... we dig deep and use all we have to persevere and survive.  We don't really know what we are capable of until we have been faced with things we fear or didn't think we could survive, and yet do survive. You discover a part of yourself you didn't even know existed sometimes... strong, powerful, passionate sides buried deep inside that are finally released.  It can be very difficult and  painful going through this journey of discovering your strengths, but it is the strength that will hold you up and keep you going.  God bless you both always.  Sending prayers your way.
Jill  Moving Right Along

From Nancy

dove-clip.jpgDear John and Krissy...
Please know how much I am thinking of you and wishing you strength, peace and love.
 
Hugs,
Nancy

From Barbara

I am so sorry that John is in the hospital again. You both are in our prayers.

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