Martha VS Maxine Do you realize that in about forty years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? Money can't buy happiness...but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche ! than in a Hyundai.
*Martha's Way* *Maxine's Way *
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom
the bottom of the cone to prevent of the cone, for Pet's sake! You are
ice cream drips. probably lying on the couch with your
feet up eating it anyway!
To keep potatoes from budding, Buy Hungry Jack Mashed Potato Mix.
place an apple in the bottom of the Keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
bag with the potatoes.
When a cake recipe calls for Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate
flouring the baking pan, use a bit it for you!
of the dry cake mix instead, and
there won't be any white mess on
the outside of the cake.
If you accidentally over salt a dish If you over salt a dish while you are
while it's still cooking, drop a peeled cooking, too bad. Please recite with me
potato and it will absorb the excess the real woman's motto, "I made it and
salt for an instant "fix-me-up". you will eat it and I don't care how bad
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when Celery?? Never heard of it!!
putting in the refrigerator and it
will keep for weeks.
Brush some beaten egg whites over The Mrs. Smith's frozen pie directions
pie crust before baking to yield a don't include brushing egg whites over
beautiful glossy finish. the crust so I don't.
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill, and
it in half and rub it over your fore- drink!
head. The throbbing will go away.
If you have a problem opening jars, Go ask the very cute neighbor if he can
try latex dishwashing gloves. They open it for you.
give a non-slip grip that makes opening
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Leftover wine???????? HELLO!!!!!!!!
Freeze into ice cubes for future
use in casseroles and sauces.
The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.
After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
As usual, if you don't forward this to ten of your friends within the next five minutes, your belly button will fall off. Really, it's true! Have I ever lied to you?
Love, hugs, and lots of laughs
Do you realize that in about forty years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
Money can't buy happiness...but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche ! than in a Hyundai.