A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes. "Oh," said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."
"Fred forgets everything!" the sales manager complained to his secretary. "It's a wonder he can sell anything. I asked him to pick me up some sandwiches on his way back from lunch and I'm not sure he'll even remember to come back." Just then the door flew open, and in bounced Fred. "You'll never guess what happened!" he shouted. "While I was at lunch, I met Old Man Spencer, who hasn't bought anything from us for five years. Well, we got to talking and he gave me this half-million dollar order!" "See that..." sighed the sales manager to his secretary. "I told you he'd forget the sandwiches."