Which is a late bee on a flower here in Stornoway, Scotland. Hope it brings some good cheer to John and Krissy.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
From Friends
Hey you both! I'm praying for you as hard as I can. Keep hanging in there, because in the end, it will be worth it. God's plans work in mysterious ways.
Much love!
Kellen and family
From Kathy
BLONDE COOKBOOK!
MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I
made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs
separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan
me some extra bowls.
TUESDAY: Tom wanted fruit salad for supper.
The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't
dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend
home for supper.
WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe
said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It
seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I
can't say it improved the rice any.
THURSDAY: Today Tom asked for salad again. I
tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, lay
on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Tom
asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.
FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies.
It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it.
There must have been something wrong with this
recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as
when I left.
SATURDAY: Tom did the shopping today and
brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for
Sunday (oh boy).For some reason Tom keeps counting
to ten.
SUNDAY: Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted
to serve roast but all I had was hamburger.
Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the
hamburger in the oven and set the controls for
roast. It still came out hamburger,much to
my disappointment.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very
exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I
can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tom
into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise
him with chocolate moose.
Onestrangecat@aol.com
From A Friend
A prayer to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.....
Oh, Sacred Heart of Jesus, I have asked thee for many
favors but I plead for this one (insert your prayer).
Take it and place it in thy open, broken heart and when the
Eternal Father sees it, covered with the mantel of thy most precious blood, he will not refuse it for
it is not my prayer, but thine.
From Val
From Merry
For John and Krissy,
Hello again from Merry, in Mason City, IA. I am sorry to hear that you are in the hospital again, John. I send you warm thoughts and hugs, and prayers! Hang in there John!
Merry
Friday, September 29, 2006
A Joke A Day
During taxi, the crew of a US Air departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. The irate ground controller (a female) lashed out at the US Air crew screaming "US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you turned right on 'Delta'. Stop right there. I know it's difficult to tell the difference between C's and D's but get it right".
Continuing her lashing to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically, "You've screwed everything up; it'll take forever to sort this out. You stay right there and don't move until I tell you to. You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about a half hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you. You got that, US Air 2771??"
Naturally, the 'ground control' frequency went terribly silent until an unknown male pilot broke the silence and asked, "Wasn't I married to you once?"
Hello you two!
John just can't get enough of those pretty nurses can he! Well John, you rest and get better and we will see what we can do to keep you two entertained! I'll be back!
Tammy
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
A Joke A Day
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7" Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure... by the way, as we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway." Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7... did you copy the report from Eastern?" Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff... and yes, we copied Eastern and we've already notified our caterers."
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
A Joke A Day
The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a 360. The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a 360 in this airplane?" Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth."
Monday, September 25, 2006
A Joke A Day
I recently took my 5 kids to the Naval Air Museum in Pensacola Florida (a great museum and free admission). They have one room that is full of real cockpits for the kids to sit in. I lifted my 4 yr old daughter into one cockpit that had side by side seating for the pilot and co-pilot. When my daughter got in she said "Good - this one's two player!"
Sunday, September 24, 2006
A Joke A Day
At the Boeing Museum of Flight in Seattle, there is a full size mockup of an F/A-18 fighter. A ramp allows visitors to climb into the cockpit and get a sense of what the pilot sees and feels. A guide at the top of the ramp points out the various controls and gauges in the cockpit and gives information about the aircraft's capabilities to each visitor who gets in. When my two-year-old son sat down in the plane, he seemed fascinated by all he saw and heard. Then, he looked out at us and said, "Gramma, could I have a quarter?"
Saturday, September 23, 2006
A Joke A Day
A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he'd asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and forth and never once getting angry. So finally, a second customer asked why didn't they just throw out the pest.
"Oh I don't care." said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."
Friday, September 22, 2006
From Barb
Dear John & Krissy,Wishing you a wonderful day. Praying for you
always - loving you too.
15 minutes
~ Joseph J. Mazzella ~
A friend wrote me the other day and told me that I sure do seem to have a lot of good days in my life. This friend wanted to know what is the difference between having a good day and having a bad day. I thought about it a long time and I think that I finally figured it out. The difference is about 15 minutes.
Think about it. Just how long does it take to really live the way that God always meant for you to live? How long does it take to say, "I love you God. Thank you for my life"? How long does it take to say a little prayer for someone you care about? How long does it take to tell a friend, "You are looking good today"? How long does it take to stop your child in the hallway and give them a hug? How long does it take to bend down and smell a flower as you walk down the street? How long does it take to scratch your cat’s chin or pet your dog’s head? How long does it take to share a warm smile and a heartfelt "thank you" with a cashier in a store? How long does it take to compliment a loved one, to share a laugh with a friend, and to think a joyous, optimistic thought? You can do all of these things and even more in just 15 minutes a day.
Is 15 minutes a day too long to turn your life around? Is 15 minutes a day too long to live a life full of love, joy, and oneness with God? Is 15 minutes a day too long to make this world a better and more Heavenly place? If you want to be doing good in your life then spend that 15 minutes a day "truly" doing some good in your life. If you want to be doing even better try 20, 30, or 60 minutes a day. If you do you will see how the power of your love can change the world moment by precious moment. If you do you will feel the love of God inside you and hear the laughter of angels surrounding you as you bless the world with your life. Who could ask any more for just 15 minutes a day?
A Joke A Day
Honorable Secretary of Agriculture
Washington, D.C.
Washington, D.C.
Dear Sir;
My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells Iowa, received a check for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business next year.
What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all governmental policies. I would prefer not to raise razorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I will just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs.
As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in keeping an accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.
My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of the business. He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was $422 in 1968, until this year when he got your check for $1000 for not raising hogs.
If I get $1000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2000 for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4000 hogs not raised, which will mean about $80,000 the first year. Then I can afford an airplane.
Now another thing, these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and corn not to feed the 4000 hogs I am not going to raise?
Also, I am considering the "not milking cows" business, so send me any information you have on that too.
In view of these circumstances, you understand that I will be totally unemployed and plan to file for unemployment and food stamps.
Be assured you will have my vote in the coming election.
Patriotically Yours,
PS: Would you please notify me when you plan to distribute more free cheese.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
From Deb (Sassy)
I'm so very glad for the two of you that you are home and Ihope John keeps buidling his strength up. Won't it be a slenddid day when you and John can walk over and feed the ducks?! You're always in my thoughts are prayers even when you don't hear a peep form me. Hope to IM soon. Love, Deb (Sassy)
From Kathy
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE
AND THINKING,
"SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?"
WELL... YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!
I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT
WITH A NEW DENTIST.
I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY
WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS
SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO.
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON,
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON,
WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN
WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD
TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.
HMMM ...OR COULD HE???
AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH,
TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.
HMMM ...OR COULD HE???
AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH,
I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL.
"YES. YES, I DID. I HAD A MUSTANG," HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.
"WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?" I ASKED.
HE ANSWERED, "IN 1959. WHY DO YOU ASK?"
"YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!" I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, WRINKLED SON OF A GUN ASKED,
"WHAT DID YOU TEACH?"
Joke
FINALLY A MALE BLONDE JOKE
A BLONDE GUY GETS HOME EARLY FROM WORK AND HEARS STRANGE NOISES
COMING FROM
THE BEDROOM. HE RUSHES UPSTAIRS TO FIND HIS WIFE NAKED ON THE BED,
SWEATING
AND PANTING. "WHAT'S UP?" HE SAYS. "I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK,"
CRIES THE
WOMAN. HE RUSHES DOWNSTAIRS TO GRAB THE PHONE, BUT JUST AS HE'S
DIALING,
HIS
4-YEAR-OLD SON COMES UP AND SAYS "DADDY! DADDY! UNCLE TED'S HIDING
IN YOUR
CLOSET AND HE'S GOT NO CLOTHES ON!" THE GUY SLAMS THE PHONE DOWN
AND
STORMS UPSTAIRS INTO THE BEDROOM, PAST HIS SCREAMING WIFE, AND RIPS
OPEN
THE
WARDROBE DOOR. SURE ENOUGH, THERE IS HIS BROTHER, TOTALLY NAKED,
COWERING
ON
THE CLOSET FLOOR. "YOU ROTTEN S.O.B.," SAYS THE HUSBAND, "MY WIFE'S
HAVING
A
HEART ATTACK AND YOU'RE RUNNING AROUND NAKED SCARING THE KIDS!"
Rayne1123@aol.com
A Joke A day
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. How old are you?.... "I'm four and a half" .... You're never 36 and a half .... you're four and a half going on five!
That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number. How old are you? "I'm gonna be 16." You could be 12, but you're gonna be 16.
And then the greatest day of your life happens .... you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony .... you BECOME 21 ... YES!!!
But then you turn 30 .... ooohhh what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk .... He TURNED, we had to throw him out. There's no fun now.
What's wrong?? What changed?? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40 ..... stay over there, it's all slipping away ........
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you're PUSHING 40, you REACH 50 ..... and your dreams are gone.
Then you MAKE IT to 60 ..... you didn't think you'd make it!!!!
So you BECOME 21, you TURN 30, you're PUSHING 40, you REACH 50, you MAKE IT to 60 ...... then you build up so much speed you HIT 70!
After that, it's a day by day thing. After that, you HIT Wednesday .... You get into your 80's, you HIT lunch. My grandmother won't even buy green bananas .... it's an investment you know, and maybe a bad one.
And it doesn't end there .... into the 90's you start going backwards .... I was JUST 92 ...
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again .... "I'm 100 and a half!!!!"
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
From Barb
Can't Help But Be Happy
~ Steve Goodier ~
Some people never need help. One man caught his foot in railroad tracks. He tried to pull it out, but his efforts only seemed to make matters worse.
He heard a noise and turned around to see a train coming. In a panic he prayed, "Dear God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I'll stop my heavy drinking and smoking!"
Nothing happened. He was still stuck, and the train showed no sign of slowing.
So he prayed again, "Oh, Lord, please get my foot out and I'll stop drinking and smoking and carousing and cussing!"
Still nothing. He tugged and pulled as the train bore down. In sheer desperation, he pled for help a final time. "Lord, please, if you get my foot out of the tracks, I'll do anything! I'll ... I'll ... I'll become a minister!
Suddenly his foot shot out of the tracks and he got up and dusted himself off as the train whizzed by. Then he looked toward Heaven and said, "Never, mind, Lord, I got it out myself."
Some people seemingly never need help from anyone. They rarely call on friends or even family to lend a hand. They seldom, if ever, confide in a good listener. They seem to believe they should be completely self sufficient; that needing assistance is an unwelcome weakness.
But others find great value in occasionally asking for assistance, and in offering it, too. Needing help, even once in a while, reminds them that they were not meant to journey this life alone. It is a group outing, not a private experience.
Those who find help when they need it are fortunate. But those who give help generously are the most fortunate of all. Few experiences can produce a sense of joy and satisfaction like that of truly easing the burden of another human being, with no thought of return. Fact is... when we help someone else, we can hardly help but be happy. At those magical times we may wonder who really helped whom!
From Barb
Seven Stages of the Married Cold
Sugar dumpling, I've really been worried about my baby girl. That's a bad sniffle and there's no telling about these things with all the strep that's going around. I'm going to put you in the hospital for a general check-up and a good rest. I know the food's terrible, but I'm going to bring you dinner every night from Rosini's. I've got it all arranged with the floor supervisor.
Stage 2:
Listen, darling, I don't like the sound of that cough. I'm going to call Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go to bed like a good girl just for papa.
Stage 3:
Maybe you'd better lie down, honey. Nothing like a little rest when you're feeling lousy. I'll bring you something. Have we got any canned soup?
Stage 4:
Now look, dear, be sensible. After you've fed the kids and gotten the dishes done and the floor mopped, you'd better lie down for a while.
Stage 5:
Why don't you take a couple of aspirins?
Stage 6:
Try gargling or something instead of just sitting around barking like a seal all evening!
Stage 7:
Would you stop coughing on me?!? Are you trying to give me pneumonia?!?
From Kathy
Krissy and John,
Welcome home! Hope you are both doing ok.
So much has been going on in J-land and I am not sure if you have been brought up to date.
First, remember our beloved Editor Joe? (AOL Journals: Magic Smoke) He has taken another job at AOL so he will be leaving (actually I think he left earlier this week) our little community. Not to worry because Editor Jeff (AOL Journals: Pixel Pusher) will be taken over his spot. Jeff will leave his journal and take over Joe's Magic Smoke journal.
Have I confuse you yet? LOL
Second, the VIVI awards are back this year. Jackie is in charge (HOPE FLOATS) this go around. Read more about it here --->>> 2006 VIVI AWARD JOURNAL.
Third -- yup there is a 3rd thing. Gina of No More Appetite for Destruction has idea that's time has come. She is trying to organize a J-land Convention. Go here to read all about it ----->>>>J-Land Convention.
Let me think, is there anything else? Hmmmmm
Oh yes! Though not entirely new but you may not know about it. Stuart (Specimen Days)
has started having book club chats at 11 AM (United Kingdom time) If you can figure out what this is your time you may want to pop in and see what all they are talking about.
Guess that's all I got for now.
Take care. I'll be keeping you and John in my prayers.
Kathy Onestrangecat@aol.com
A Joke A Day
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
A Joke A Day
Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted children curiously. They often draw scrutiny, since my son is a blond Russian, while my daughter has shiny black Haitian skin.
The boy continued staring as he carried our groceries to the car.
Finally, he asked. "Those your kids?"
"Yes, they are!" I answered proudly.
"They adopted?" he asked.
"Yes," I replied.
"I thought so," he concluded. "I figured you're too old to have kids that small."
The boy continued staring as he carried our groceries to the car.
Finally, he asked. "Those your kids?"
"Yes, they are!" I answered proudly.
"They adopted?" he asked.
"Yes," I replied.
"I thought so," he concluded. "I figured you're too old to have kids that small."
From Barb
Hello, you two.
Sorry I've not stopped by. Every time I headed for the computer,
*life happened. * lol
You know how that goes, right? You get your plans all made and guess what? The next thing you know you have company, a flat tire, a problem with AOL (had to include that one), or some
other little thing goes wrong.
You've been in a state of transition for quite awhile now,
craving, no doubt, to have a comfort zone reestablished.
I pray that happens soon, if it hasn't happened yet. Just know you're loved very much, admired greatly, and prayed for every
day. I hope you had a nice day today. May God richly bless you for your faithfulness and courage.
Take care now,
Much love,
Barb
Sorry I've not stopped by. Every time I headed for the computer,
*life happened. * lol
You know how that goes, right? You get your plans all made and guess what? The next thing you know you have company, a flat tire, a problem with AOL (had to include that one), or some
other little thing goes wrong.
You've been in a state of transition for quite awhile now,
craving, no doubt, to have a comfort zone reestablished.
I pray that happens soon, if it hasn't happened yet. Just know you're loved very much, admired greatly, and prayed for every
day. I hope you had a nice day today. May God richly bless you for your faithfulness and courage.
Take care now,
Much love,
Barb
Monday, September 18, 2006
From Cathy
Hi guys, really glad you're back home John, I know you feel better about it too. Krissy, call me about that van you talked about, it may be the only thing in your area. And don't estimate by the "year" lol it's not necessary! Here's some laffs:
So this guy flags down a cab, gets in and tells the driver where he's going. They're driving along, when he changes his mind and taps the driver on the shoulder. The driver screams, nearly hits a bus, drives up on a curb and almost crashes into a window. The very frightened passenger says, "What the heck, you're crazy what's wrong here?!?" The cab driver apologizes and says, "I'm so sorry sir, but this is my first day on the job. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years!"
===================================
I'm not kidding, these are real, bona fide statements made in Court - it's all in my Journal but here's a few:
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
================================
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 8th
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
================================
ATTORNEY: This condition, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
================================
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: 38 or 35 I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: 45 years.
================================
Still lighting my candle every day, and of course you're always in my prayers. Keep me posted!!
Love you both, Cathy
From Merry
Dear Krissy and John,
How are you doing this September morning? I bet it feels good to be home! You know fall is showing here in the Midwest already. It's beautiful, but we don't like the winter that follows it. Still, we must enjoy each day, and fall is a beautiful time to do just that! Remember that I am thinking of you, and praying for both of you.
Merry
PS I do have big news! Last night we found out we are going to be grandparents for the first time! Most of the people we know our ages already are, but we just didn't know if we would ever be. It hasn't fully "sunk in" our heads yet. But, we are thrilled.
merry1621@aol.com
Thought to Ponder . . .
Forgiveness is the final form of love.
Thought to Ponder . . .
Faith dares the soul
to go beyond what the eyes can see.
Thought to Ponder . . .
Serenity is not the absence of conflict,
but the ability to cope with it.
merry1621@aol.com
Thought to Ponder . . .
Forgiveness is the final form of love.
Thought to Ponder . . .
Faith dares the soul
to go beyond what the eyes can see.
Thought to Ponder . . .
Serenity is not the absence of conflict,
but the ability to cope with it.
merry1621@aol.com
Joke A Day
The couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them that there was a wonderful Russian baby boy available. The couple accepted him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Russian?"
The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby. In a year or so, when he begins to talk, we want to be able to understand him."
Sunday, September 17, 2006
J-Land News
I know you are very busy. This is just a way to keep up with some people at your on time. If there are any journals you want me to keep track of for you, or you want this to end, let me know. I am here for you. Tammy
A Joke A Day
While my wife and I were shopping at a mall kiosk, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes followed her.
Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in?"
Saturday, September 16, 2006
A joke A Day
Two actors that haven't seen each other in several weeks run in to each other on the street.
1st Actor: Haven't seen you in a while, how's everything going?
2nd Actor: Pretty good. Two weeks ago I got a call from a lawyer in Florida. It seems I had an aunt that I never knew about that died and left me $2,000,000.
#1: That's great!
#2: Yeah. And then last week I hit the lottery and won $7,000,000.
#1: That's wonderful!
#2: Yeah, but this week, nothing!
1st Actor: Haven't seen you in a while, how's everything going?
2nd Actor: Pretty good. Two weeks ago I got a call from a lawyer in Florida. It seems I had an aunt that I never knew about that died and left me $2,000,000.
#1: That's great!
#2: Yeah. And then last week I hit the lottery and won $7,000,000.
#1: That's wonderful!
#2: Yeah, but this week, nothing!
Friday, September 15, 2006
A Joke A Day
There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.
Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a baseball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole. "How do you suppose this ball got in here?" I asked the boy.
Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at me, the boy exclaimed, "Wow! I must have thrown it right through that hole!"
Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a baseball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole. "How do you suppose this ball got in here?" I asked the boy.
Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at me, the boy exclaimed, "Wow! I must have thrown it right through that hole!"
Thursday, September 14, 2006
A Joke A Day
Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seven?"
"22," Rick replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he *knew* he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job.
About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, he went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."
"22," Rick replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he *knew* he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job.
About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, he went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
From Val
Krissy, step-by-step, inch-by-inch, this WILL get worked out. With all of our angels =). I haven't called you as I was waiting for your call, knowing that you are soooo busy. Knowing that John needs you for everything. I will call you tonight if I don't hear from you, k, honey. I am on my way to therapy and then to see Mr. Michael. Michael Sanchez has been staying with me this week. I will tell you about this when I talk to you next. So, is there ANYTHING I can do for you before you get home? I am picking up kitty litter so you have some when you get home cuz your kitty is running out. Ummm, what else? Don't know. I miss you guys sooooo much!! I got the crochet needle for you and a book on how to crochet from our little mommy =D!! I just need to get you some yarn. When you get home we will pick a day for me to spend the night =!! Yay!!! I love you sooooo much!! Love, your sissy who loves you with every inch of her heart xoxox
From Barb
Hello John & Krissy. I came across this awesome site and thought you, your loved ones, family, and friends might enjoy it too.
http://www.foodtimeline.org/
http://www.foodtimeline.org/
| Ever wonder what foods the Vikings ate when they set off to explore the new world? How Thomas Jefferson made his ice cream? What the pioneers cooked along the Oregon Trail? Who invented the potato chip...and why? Welcome to the Food Timeline.
Food history is full of fascinating lore and contradictory facts. Historians will tell you it is not possible to express this topic in exact timeline format. They are quite right. Everything we eat is the product of culinary evolution. On the other hand? It is possible to place both foods and recipes on a timeline based on print evidence and historic context. |
Have fun checking it out.
*Love you much.*
A Joke A Day
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting flies" He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
A Joke A Day
Because I was processing my first accident report at the transport company where I worked, I was being particularly attentive.
The driver had hit a deer on the highway, and the result was a severely damaged hood and fender. My serious mood was broken, however, when I reached the section of the report that asked, "Speed of other vehicle?"
The driver had put, "Full gallop."
From Merry
Close your eyes...And go back...
....Before the Internet or PC or the MAC...... ....Before semi-automatics and crack.... ....Before Playstation, SEGA, Super Nintendo, even before Atari...
....Before cell phones, CD's, DVD's, voicemail and e-mail.... ....way back....
....way.....way.....way back.....
I'm talkin' bout hide and seek at dusk
Red light, Green light
Red Rover....Red Rover.....
Playing kickball & dodgeball until the first ...no...second...no...third Streetlight came on
Ring around t he Rosie
London Bridge
Hot potato
Hop Scotch
Jump rope
Duck....duck....GOOSE!!!
YOU'RE IT!!
Parents stood on the front porch and yelled (or whistled) for you to come home - no pagers or cell phones, Mother May I?
Hula Hoops
Seeing shapes in the clouds
Endless summer days and hot summer nights (no A/C) with the windows open
The sound of crickets
Running through the sprinkler
Cereal boxes with that GREAT prize in the bottom
Ice pops with 2 sticks you could break and share with a friend
Watchin' Sunday morning oldies (Abbott & Costello, Three Stooges) Wonder Woman & Super Man Underoos Christmas morning
Your first day of school
Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses
Climbing trees
Swinging as high as you could to try and reach the sky
Getting an Ice Cream off the Good Humor Truck
A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers
Jumpin' down the steps
Jumpin' on the bed
Pillow fights
Sleep-overs
A 13" black and white TV in your room meant you were RICH
Runnin' till you were out of breath <FONTFACE=ARIAL>
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt
Being tired from PLAYING
Your first crush
Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7UP" or hangman" in
The classroom, Remember that?
Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer
So was a swig from the hose
Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school
Class Field Trips with soggy sandwiches
When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there
When a quarter seemed like a fair allowance;
and another quarter a MIRACLE
When your parents took you to McDonalds and you were COOL
When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited you at home.
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.
Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of
us are still afraid of em!
Let's go back to the time when...
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo"
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
"Race issues" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "monopoly"
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being old, referred to anyone over 20. (CRAP! I'm officially old!)
Nobody was prettier than Mom
Scrapes and bruises were kissed by mom or grandma and made better
Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
Older siblings were your worst tormentors, but also your fiercest protector
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!
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