Chemo brain

Krissy, chemo brain is nothing to be afraid of.  All you need is to stock up on pens, pencils, note pads, and post it notes.  At first I wondered if I was coming down with the early stages of Alzheimer's.  I would be ready to go someplace and get in the car and forget where I was going to go. Or I wanted to call someone and until I got to the phone I forgot who I wanted to call or why I wanted to call them if I remembered who I was going to call.  After a while you learn how to deal with that by writing yourself notes, several notes and leaving the notes at various locations.  But the absolute worse part of chemo brain for me is not being able to find the right word.  When my first grand nephew was born I wanted to ask my sister if he was circumcised and the only word I could think of was castrated.  Right area.  WRONG WORD!!  I have also found that I have to be rude in conversation and butt in.  If I don't butt in, I forget what I have to say or ask.  People who know me, know the reason for this and understand.  I always explain this to knew people around me. Now that we know that John is going to be around for a LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG time, he is going to be so much funnnnnnnnnnnnn to be around.  Enjoy. 

 

ShipAlum@aol.com

An Easter Miracle

Hmmm....  How do I do this without coming right out and telling you?  So I will.  Here goes...

John's cancer is not back.  And he doesn't need a second bone marrow transplant.  Yes, that's right.  He is cancer free!

Let me tell you what happened.  Yesterday at the appointment with his hematologist/oncologist, Dr. Claxton, John was told that the last test he had been given had resulted in a false positive. 

Dr. Claxton came in the room all beaming positive, and excited.  John and I were confused, and then he announced the news.  John almost fell out of his chair.  We were both in shock.  We were happy, ecstatic, but in shock, LOL.  It's like going from death to life. 

Anyway, what happened was this.  When the first test (a bone marrow biopsy) was taken three weeks ago, John was given a drug called Neupogen to stimulate white blood cells to keep his immune system up, right before the test.  This effected the test and produced a false positive.  

Dr. Claxton is positive it is a false positive and that the bone marrow cancer is not back.  There is a reason for this.  There were two other tests done at the same time as the biopsy.  One was something called a Mixed Chimerism test.  In that test it was determined how much of John's cells were his, and how much were cells he got from his donor (during the transplant).  The test showed John is 100% donor! 

The next test was taken to see how much chromosomal damage John had.  When he had the bone marrow cancer before his bone marrow transplant, he had major chromosomal damage, which indicated severe bone marrow cancer.  When he had this final test taken three weeks ago, a sample was sent to the MAYO Clinic.  It was determined by them that John NO LONGER has chromosomal damage!  Thus, no bone marrow cancer!  

So they are sure the cancer is gone!

John does still have the Hemolytic Anemia, which he does require red blood cell transfusions for, but we will take that one day at a time.  What the treatment will be, whether chemo or spleenectomy, we will see.  Right now we are just rejoicing over the fact that the cancer is gone.  He also only has 25 - 30% kidney function, but he can live on that for now.

So God is good.  And you all are too.  Thank you for your prayers.  And thank you for everything.

I told you you would shout, LOL!

Love you all, Krissy :)  

To All Readers!!

Val, Krissy's sister has a request from all of you! Please read below and help make Krissy & John have some sunny days ahead!

Special Subject for Photo Hunt!...

        

Joke

Lisa was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection and the traffic behind her was starting to pile up. The guy in the car directly behind her was honking his horn continuously as Lisa continued to try getting the car to start up again.

Finally Lisa gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her. "I can't seem to get my car started," Lisa said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you."

From Dutch

 

DEAR JOHN & KRISSY,

 

 AS BELIEVERS IN CHRIST SOMETIMES THE HARDEST THING TO HEAR FROM BROTHERS OR SISTERS IN CHRIST IS IF YOU HAD ENOUGH FAITH ,YOU WOULD BE HEALED.YOUR FAITH IS ENOUGH. SOMETIMES THE HARDEST THING IS TO TRUST IN SPITE OF OUTER CIRCUMSTANCES.THE LORDS WAYS ARE NOT ALWAYS SO CLEAR. THIS ONE THING I KNOW JESUS CHRIST AND HIM CRUCIFIED. IN HIM WE ARE SAFE. HE WILL GIVE THE ANGELS CHARGE OVER YOU DEAR BROTHER. IF HE CHOOSES TO TAKE YOU HOME, THE ULTIMATE HEALING, HIS ARMS, WILL CARRY YOU AND HE WILL GIVE YOU ALL THE STRENGTH YOU NEED AT THAT MOMENT.THE LORD HAS FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON HAD ME PRESENT IN OR THRU MANY BROTHERS AND SISTERS FINAL RACE INTO THE HOME STRETCH. I DO NOT KNOW WHY BUT AS I HAVE SEEN DEBS LOVE AND TEARS FOR YOU BOTH, I FEEL IF YOU WOULD ALOW ME THE PRIVILAGE TO JUST SAY THESE FEW WORDS. JOHN YOU ARE VERY PLEASING TO THE LORD. YOUR FAITH AND COURAGE WILL GO ON YOUR  SEEDS OF FAITH WILL REPRODUCE .YOU WILL HAVE MANY CROWNS TO LAY AT YOUR SAVIORS FEET.YOU CAN TRUST KRISSY TO THE LORDS CARE AS YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT. YOU AND I KNOW IF HE CHOSE TO HE COULD HEAL YOU IN A SECOND, BUT AS YOU HAVE PRAYED THY WILL BE DONE ONLY THE LORD KNOWS HIS PLAN FOR YOU BOTH. I PRAY THE LORDS PEACE  WILL SO COME OVER YOU THAT ALTHOUGH THE OUTER MANS PERISHES, THE INNER MAN GROWS DAY BY DAY. THIS LIFE IS ONLY A MOMENT IN TIME BUT ETERNITY IS FOREVER. HOW VERY MUCH THE LORD HAS ENTRUSTED TO YOU, JOHN .HE WILL SAY, WELL DONE THY GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT .ENTER IN TO ALL I HAVE PREPARED FOR YOU.YOU WILL RULE AND REIGN WITH THE KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS. HE WILL WIPE ALL THE TEARS FROM YOUR EYES. I WILL PRAY FOR MORE REVELATION OF HIMSELF FOR YOU JOHN.

 

IN CHRIST,  DEBS DUTCH

(I ALWAYS TYPE IN ALL CAPS--PLEASE DON'T TAKE AS SHOUTING)

 

SassyDee50@aol.com

From Deb

 

Dear John and Krissy~

 

I don't have any jokes and no pity for sure. I am in my depressed cycle and not writing to anyone, but when I saw Tammy's message I had to say something. I'm at a loss for what to say really as you might expect. I admire your love for life, faith and acceptance of whatever the next minute, hour or day brings. You're in my thoughts and prayers; I love you both. John~you are the most brave and amazing man I have ever "met". You are loved so much by so many--you already know that. Peace for you both is what I pray for most.

 

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((John & Krissy))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  Blessings, Deb (aka Sassy)

 

SassyDee50@aol.com

From Deb

 

Hi Krissy,

 

I don't know if you have time to read about my life, but I know you used to get mad when I didn't share what was going on just to spare you. So if you really want to know--here's your invitation: xox Deb

 

http://journasl@aol.com/sassydee50/sassys-private-words

 

SassyDee50@aol.com

Tammy's Kitties!

Hi Krissy and John!  This is a gift from me and Tammy!  Tammy can't upload photos from her computer very well right now so I am doing it for her.  I wanted to introduce you to her furry brood.  Oh, they are lovely!  She loves them so!!  She sent me these pictures yesterday and I fell in love with their cute faces!!!  She said Amber swats at her at the computer and she can't work.  Now look at this angelic, sweet face.  Could she cause any harm?  LOL
           
             

Here is Amber's twin Sabrina.  Wow!  Aren't they GORGEOUS!!...

                       

Here are a mommy and son - Sara and Sebastian.  Sara is the top picture.  They look like they are talking, don't they?  They have the same sweet face!

                        

                        

Finally, this is Simba!  He is the Daddy of Sebastian (and I guess the hubby of Sara).  Tammy said he disappears for a week or two sometimes.  He is a LION, isn't he!?!  She doesn't know how much he weighs, but he is very, very large!  I bet he weighs almost as much as Michael!!

               

I hope you enjoyed her lovely kitties!  Ask Tammy more about them!  She loves her cats!

Tammy, thanks for sending me these pictures so I could make Krissy and John happy!  They are cat lovers!  Give your kitties special pets from our family today! 

An Answer To A Question

I have had more than one person email me, asking me that does giving blood matter if they live in another country.

First, when you donate blood in someone's name, that person won't be getting that blood. That isn't how it works. Giving in someone's name is just in honor of them. The blood will go to whom ever needs it.

So, it doesn't matter where you live. If you want to great, but if you forget to donate in John's name, it's okay. Just donate! People need blood all over the world! That is John's wish. That people, all over the world receive blood like he is. Three lives can be saved in one donation!

If you can't give yourself, you can still help! Spread the word. Read the entry below this. Help me make that number in the About Me section rise. For John and for people all over the world whose lives depends on blood. Your blood! It really is true when they say that the life you save could be your own, or your family.

Let's get to work.

From Val To All

Click Here Please!

A Joke!

In the examination paper the Professor wanted us to sign a form stating that we had not received any outside assistance. Unsure of whether he should sign the form, a student stated that he had prayed for the assistance of God.

The Professor carefully studied the answer script and then said, "You can sign it with a clear conscience. God did not assist you."

From Pat

MSR2 (Mississippi Squirrel Revival)

 

Live A Life That Matters

 

ShipAlum@aol.com

From Jude

Article 1

Article 2

Article 3

Article 4

Article 5

Article 6

Article 7

Article 8

Article 9

Article 10

Article 11

JMoranCoyle@aol.com

Pat

John this is for you

  March 19-25 are DAFFODIL DAYS 2007.  Now I know you say so what!  What does this have to do with me? ALL of the money goes to the ACS and part to the Hope Lodge.

  Daffodils are the symbol of hope for the American Cancer Society and a way to raise money.  For the past three years in this area, Boyds Bears has worked with the ACS to raised money.  For $25.00 you get a Boyds Bear and 9 daffodils. 2005's bear was Daffodil R. Hope, 2006's bear was Flowers R. Hope, and this year's is Hugh R. Hope (YOU). You see Hugh are hope to us. 

                             

                                    Hugh R. Hope

             

             (L to R) Daffodils R. Hope, Flowers R. Hope, & Hugh R. Hope.

 

ShipAlum@aol.com

From Patty

HI tammy

 

can you post this in your journal for me? I have been sending updates about john to my pastor and the folks at my church. here is what my pastors wife Sharon wrote back about the last update on John.

 

let Kissy know...........that she is loved {and john} by all of us.

 

 

 

 

patty

 

 

"How sweet and beautiful...and sad too!  Their faith is an inspiration to us all!
May the LORD mightily use and bless John and Krissy!  They are truly precious.
Thanks for sharing about their lives!
 
LORD, please give them an extra measure of YOUR GRACE, COMFORT, PEACE, LOVE and HEALING....here or in heaven.  YOUR WILL BE DONE!
 
In JESUS" NAME> AMEN!
 
LOVE you,

Sharon"

littlelady1699@aol.com

From Pat

In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

  When Krissy told me of John's diagnosis shortly after they received it, I was in shock as were all of you.  Even though I only know them thru the printed word I read here in the gazette I feel like I know Krissy and John.  That night Krissy and I got to know each other so much better.

  Jan. 3, 1992 I lost my dear husband Ralph to diabetes.  When he was told he had the disease I remember him telling the doctor if he had to give up ice cream we might as well start digging the grave.  He never really watched his diet or cared.  So different then our John.  I heard the doctors, but I was in the river in Egypt.  I figured they were going to get the problems under control and send him home.  His last year he was in the hospital more then he was home.  Even when the Doc. told me if I went home, he might not be here when I came back I didn't understand.

  I talked with the nephrologist as I we were told he needed dialysis as his kidneys had shut down.  The Doc. talked to us and Ralph said he wanted it.  The Doc. took me out in the hallway and said he would feel better if he were sure Ralph understood what was being said as he was not fully aware of what was going on.  The doc. said that there are some patients that are regrets ... he keeps them alive until the next thing shuts down. I said would Ralph be a regret and he said I am afraid so.  I said lets not do dialysis.  He said he thinks that is the right decision but if I changed my mind call him.  At 8 PM that night, less then 4 hours later Ralph went to prepare our room

  I go into this detail, in that I never took the time to prepare myself to accept the fact that Ralph could die.  I was in the river in Egypt (Denial) and never accepted the fact until it happen.  I never had time to prepare for it.  Ralph in a way prepared for it.

We were raised in a God Fearing age and I do mean God Fearing.  We were raised that God punished you if you didn't do things his way.  I remember him thinking that he did something really really bad that God was punishing him with his severe depression.  It was only after Ralph died and that I was in recovery and came to believe in a God of my understanding.  I wish Ralph had a God like mine or a God like John and Krissy's.  When we have faith we can work thru anything. 

John and Krissy will be fine, knowing that they have us to lean on.  John and Krissy, I am only and IM away.

ShipAlum@aol.com

 

I teach High School for a living.  It's quite a challenge--but I wouldn't trade it for a million dollars. I have breakfast with 3 students every morning.  I always offer them something to eat--but 2 of them eat at home and 1 gets breakfast from the cafeteria.  I keep instant oatmeal in my classroom for a kid who wanders in who hasn't had breakfast or for the kids who need breakfast.  Over the last few years I've had breakfast and lunch bunches where I provided the food and they provided the company.  So this year I tell the 3 girls--I really need to do something--I've been eating way too much chocolate.  So I say--I think I'm giving up chocolate for Lent.  One of the girls said--Wow--you can do that.  I said--Sure I can.  So the 2nd girls says--you know--if you can do it--we can do it too.  The 3rd one says--yea--let's all give up chocolate together for lent.  I said--Are you sure?  They said yes.  So I said ok-let's do it.  Teaching in a public school I was a little worried about this--but figured it would be ok.  The 1st girl  asks--When do we start?  I tell her when Ash Wednesday is.  The 2nd one asks--how long does it last?  I tell her it ends on Easter.  It's 40 days.  I figure we're doing pretty good.  The 3rd one waits about 2 minutes and says--Miss P--what's lent?  It turns out 2 of them(who are 2 of triplets) are temple buddhists and the 3rd one has no real religion.  I bought the 3 of them little chocolate bunnies for Easter.

Nyuknyukpik2@aol.com

From Cathy

 

Hey Krissy, hiya John:  Did you know that if the earth were the size of an apple, our atmosphere would be as thin as the skin on that apple?

 

And we're paying almost as much for water as for gas!

 

This one's weird:  Cockroaches have been here, almost unchanged for a quarter of a BILLION years, they can withstand hundreds more units of radiation than we can, and can actually detect a biochemical hazard!  Wonder if we can train them somehow ...

 

I love you both - smile for me, and because it feels better, and not the mention you look so good doing it!

 

Always, Cathy (Luddie343)

Luddie343@aol.com

From Laura

Wow, another reminder that life is too short to dwell on stupid things like getting annoyed over waiting in line or the dog digging yet another hole in my lawn.

I gave blood last week and do so every 6-8 weeks when the local blood bank lets me because my type is in high demand. I give regularly because someone(s) donated this gift for my son. he received 16 transfusions while he was in the nicu.

love to you and john and krissy too.

 

NICURNmama@aol.com

Uh...John?

Remember that number I gave you a while ago? You know, the blood total? Scratch that. I will have to get back to you on that.

From Angela

 

Hi Krissy and John,

 

It's Spring but you'd never know it here in NY. The high was 39 degrees yesterday and although, the sun is out, you still feel the Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! : ) But, I love winter but I also know I'm in a minority.

 

I got a new computer this week and didn't even have to pay for it. Mine was a lemon and still under contract, so would you believe (after prayer of course), Dell decided to send me a new one. Now, I have to figure out Windows Vista. : )

 

You two are in all of our thoughts and prayers and there is so much love going your way. If you feel hugged, I think it's journaland. : )

 

I send you all my love, along with the Virgin Mary, who has always been my constant companion.......Not bad heh? : ) She makes me so many miracles that I decided to include a link to a journal entry of mine with one of them. I have many more that I never wrote about. Hope you enjoy reading the link.

 

Butterfly Miracles........

 

Hugs,

Angela

 

ReadMeReadYou@aol.com

Hey John!

I got to thinking. I try not to do that too much because of all the smoke it makes. But I just wondered if you knew how many lives you have saved so far?

The blood count is at 219. That will change, you have my word. But, since one pint can save three lives.....

You have saved 657 men, women and children.

Not bad for one person huh?

Me!

Fun Silly

Hey guys, you want me to mail you a cat? I got one that is driving me crazy. Yea, I know, short trip. She has made it her life's work to torment me until I give in and feed her cat treats until she throws up. But I will fight her!!

Tammy....and Amber the Destroyer

From Pat

Ragged Old Flag, One Nation Under God

ShipAlum@aol.com

From Pat

WALK WITH ME

ShipAlum@aol.com

From Me

Give up on you? Stop supporting you? Never. Family stays forever. Krissy, I can't begin to tell you how proud I am. Proud to know you, proud to know John, proud to know Val. You three have taught me so much. Things about life and about myself.

If John's work here on earth isn't done, he isn't going anywhere. If his work here on earth is done...the Lord will call him Home. Will we miss him? Oh yes. Will we mourn? Oh yes. But, look where he is heading! No more pain. No more sickness. He will touch the face of God! Makes me a tad jealous. He may outlive of all. If not, go on ahead and prepare a place for us to join you when it is our turn.

Krissy, you do what you have to. We aren't going anywhere. We are here whenever and whatever you need. Take time and just live. Both of you. You don't have to comment. You don't have to read the Gazette right away. It will be here. It will continue. So will we.

John, we will always be here. Krissy will never be alone. We will all be here for her. No worries about that my friend. You just take care of yourself. Fight, pray, love, laugh, live. Most of all..............

DANCE!

Update

From Krissy

From Kathy

 

John and Krissy,

 

Tomorrow is the first day of spring.  I can hardly believe that winter is officially over.  By the looks of all the weeds growing in my front yard I will have to get mowing the lawn soon.  Well, mowing the weeds anyway -- not much grass grows in my front yard!

 

I have been spending less and less time on the Internet lately, but that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking and praying for the 2 of you.  I think of you and pray for you every day.

 

The other day I got a new CD  -- well it's old songs -- Jimmy Buffett  "The Utimate Collection".  If I could play a song for you it would be "Cheeseburger in Paradise".  It's one of my favorite "take me away from all this" songs.  I am almost sure the two of you know the song.  Hey, I found the music over here:  Cheeseburger in Paradise - Jimmy Buffett

 

Sorry that I haven't been in touch.  No real reason but laziness on my part.  I am really sorry about that.  I should be spanked!  :) 

 

Kathy

 

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."  Philippians 4:13 

 

Onestrangecat@aol.com

Joke

Big defense contractor buys a small company, and the small company gets a new IT boss just as work starts to integrate systems with the big outfit's infrastructure, reports a technician on the scene.

And though the new boss has no computer skills or knowledge, she's still the source of a steady stream of instructions for renovating the data center.

"This initially included installing a window into the data center," says the technician. "She wanted to be able to see into it as she walked in every morning and at every smoke break."

"It seemed strange, but I was happy if that meant I could keep her from actually coming into the data center and possibly destroying something."

A week or two later, the boss tells the technician to install track lighting over each row of servers lining the room. Then she requests dimmer switches to control the track lighting.

"Weird assignments kept rolling in -- knock out a wall here, paint a wall there, change the colors of the electrical outlet covers -- while I labored with co-workers to get the real work done," he says. "Meanwhile, I endured daily meetings with corporate managers to describe and explain any and all progress made from the previous day's labors."

Then comes a major project: replacing the aging network switches. "The Friday before we began, I let the boss know what we had assigned to us," says the technician. "She nearly had a cow. She immediately started calling everyone she knew at company headquarters, ranting and raving that this would be way too disruptive to the users and cause general havoc."

The project is pushed back two weeks, but then rescheduled. That Friday, the boss tells the technical staff not to make any changes, no matter what.

"It was then that I finally got the real reason for why she wanted the blinking switches to stay. She loved walking by several times a day and looking through the window in the data center to see the pretty green blinking lights. "That made her feel everything inside the data center was working well. The green activity lights let her know there were no problems, or they would have started blinking amber or red."

After our little talk, I spoke with the corporate folks and was told in no uncertain terms that if this project wasn't done that weekend, I would face serious consequences. I told them not to worry. It would be done by Monday morning.

Over the weekend, the tech and a co-worker make the changes and remove the switches. But they leave the old switch racks in place. "We installed random-blinking green Christmas lights where the switches used to sit behind the smoked glass doors," he says.

"To this day, my boss still thinks she won the battle to keep the blinking switches in place."

From Pat

In God We Still Trust - Google Video

ShipAlum@aol.com

Something new from Val in the About Me!

Stuff!

Pictures of Places

Abston Church of Christ

My Beautiful America

Hey You Two

Hope you guys are doing well. I have been kind of busy the past couple of days. My can Sebastian was neutered and he isn't himself so to speak. Plus we have had skunk and opossum invading our home outside. I went on the ramp last night to call Sebastian in and heard  a noise beside the ramp. I looked close..because it was dark...and it was a skunk! You know, disabled or not, I can move pretty quick when I need to!

Tammy

From Pat

St. Patrick's Day Storm Of 2007

ShipAlum@aol.com

Joke

While I was visiting my sister one evening, I took out a candy dispenser that was shaped like a miniature person. "How does that thing work?" she asked.

As I turned the figurine's arm to pop candy out, my sister laughed.

"I see ... it's a lot like my husband," she said. "You have to twist his arm to get anything out of him."

From Me

1001 Online Games

From Amanda

           

Dear John and Krissy,

             Hi there,I thought I would share an embarssing,funny,moment I had last night at work.lol.Well,I wnt to sit outside for my ridr last night when I got off at 8.I thought my ride was already there.lol.I didn't even think to look,I must of been so tired,that knowing it was the wrong truck.Thinking my Dad was already there waiting for me when I got outside.We have our 2 nephews andneice staying with us till this coming Wed and I saw a young boy in the truck,I went up to the truck,good thing I didn't open it,but,it was raining out and I couldn't see,so,I wiped off the window and I looked in.It wasn't my Dad and it wasn't my nephew.lol.I was like oh my goodness.Than I looked at the back of the truck and saw a pic of the American flag,knew it wasn't my Dad than,because He dont have that on His truck.Someone was sitting on the bench and I told Him and I was tottlay embarssed.I hid my face and than just laughed about it.The guy probllay thought I was nuts.lol.Thought I share this with you.Its funny now.I have been so tired.Hope it made you laugh.lol.I am thinking and praying for you both.

 

God bless,

Amanda

 

HugsDoodleWacky@aol.com

Hey You Two!

If you will look in the About me, the black & white rose now has a link. This is from Val. It has a special message for you every day so be sure to click it!

Tammy

Give thanks!

When the world seems to be falling down around you, you can choose to fall
down with it or you can choose a more positive path. Acceptance will put you
on that positive path.

Fighting against negativity only produces more negativity.
Yet when you accept what is, no matter how terrible and difficult it may be,
you put yourself in a position to start changing it for the better.

Acceptance does not mean giving in or giving up. It means moving on, as in
moving on ahead.Give thanks!

When the world seems to be falling down around you, you can choose to fall
down with it or you can choose a more positive path. Acceptance will put you
on that positive path.

Fighting against negativity only produces more negativity.
Yet when you accept what is, no matter how terrible and difficult it may be,
you put yourself in a position to start changing it for the better.

Acceptance does not mean giving in or giving up. It means moving on, as in
moving on ahead.

There is simply no point in fighting battles which have already been lost,
nor is there any point in allowing the loss to continue to slow you down.
The smart strategy is to accept it and then put all your energy toward a
positive pursuit.

Acceptance does not mean allowing others to take advantage of you. It simply
means that you look realistically at what has happened and allow yourself to
see the positive opportunities that are most certainly there.

Once you accept what is, you are free to move positively forward. Once you
quit fighting, you are free to start achieving.

Ralph Marston

buggieboo1@aol.com

From Pat

Mr. Mom's Website

Pine Tree Crosses

ShipAlum@aol.com

From Jan

         

jan3145@aol.com

For All

Krissy has updated her journal.

Click me

From me

I put Elastic Baby in the Favorite Links section for ya.

A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye.

"What on earth," she inquired of the artist standing nearby, "is that?"

He smiled condescendingly. "That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and her child."

"Well, then," snapped the little old lady, "why isn't it?"

Slipups

Tammy

From Angela

     

Hi you two,

 

Please know that prayers are with you always and that everyone is sending you tons of love and support. Feel the positive energy surrounding you. It's all about love and anything that is about love is about God. Your love for one another is Godly and beautiful to see. You already have lots of love, so hope, healing and happiness are what I wish you today and always......The three H's!

 

May God continue to bless you,

Angela

ReadMeReadYou@aol.com

From Barb

Hi Krissy..Hi John, I came across this - thought it too beautiful not to share. Praying for the two of you every day. love you, Barb

The earth is full of your goodness, your greatness and understanding, your wisdom and harmony. How wonderful are the lights that you created. You formed them with strength and power and they shine very wonderfully on the world, magnificent in their splendour. They arise in radiance and go down in joy. Reverently they fulfill your divine will. They are tributes to your name as they exalt your sovereign rule in song.

jewish mystical hymn   516 b.c.e. - 70 c.e.

Barbpinion@aol.com

From Pat

                  

Energizer.com - Energizer Bunny - Free Bunny Downloads   For when you need energized you can have this screensaver.  I love mine.

 

When you need a laugh go here.  You will laugh. Elastic Baby

 

 

Ship/Pat/NED

ShipAlum@aol.com

From Sassy Deb...

 

Hi Sissy, this special message below is from from Deb (SassyDee).  She emailed it to me and asked that you receive it here.  When I read it I thought alot about our "little mommy".  Isn't she the best?!  Love you!  Val xox

                             

From Deb (SassyDee)...

MOTHER



The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is
this the long way?" she asked.   And the guide said:  "Yes, and the way is hard.  And you will be old before you reach the end of it.. But the end  will be better than the beginning."

But the young mother was happy, and she would not
believe that  anything could be better than these years. So she
played with her children, and gathered flowers for
them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and
the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried,
"Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was
dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother
drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, "Mother, we are not afraid, for you 
  are near, and no harm can come."  

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and
the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary.
But at all times she said to the children," A little  patience and we are there."
So the children climbed, and when they reached the top
they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."

And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up
at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my
children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness.   
Yesterday I gave them courage.  Today, I've given them strength."



And the next day came strange clouds which darkened
the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped
and stumbled, and the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light. "And the children looked and saw above the clouds an
    everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the darkness. And that night the Mother said, "This is the best day of all, for
I have shown my children God."

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and
the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent.
But her children were tall and strong, and walked with
courage.  And when the way was rough, they lifted her,
for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill,
and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And the mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can
walk alone, and their children after them."

And the children said, "You will always walk with us,
Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."
And they stood  and  watched her as she went on alone, and the gates
closed after her.  And they said: "We cannot see her
but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory.  She is a living presence......."

Your Mother is always with you.... She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop. She's the place you came from, your first home; and she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love  and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can separate you.  Not time, not space... not even death! 

                                                     

Me Again

On a recent evening my family sat in a darkened theater waiting to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up with a flashy ad for the theater's concession stand, we noticed the sound was missing. The unexpected silence continued for several moments.

Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd demanded, "Okay, who's got the remote?"

Kritter Cards

Tammy

It's me!

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot's story was that he took off from Las Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Las Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane ... only this time there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"

Headline Humor

Tammy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Krissy  have  a great day!

HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY KRISSY!!!!!!!!!

buggieboo1@aol.com

From Barb

           

Hi, you two. I came across the following joke, Just had to send it to you.
Hope it makes you smile. Can't you just imagine the expression on this man's face.
Love you,

Barb

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a marriage seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor. "It is
essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here

Barbpinion@aol.com

From Deb

 

Hi Krissy~ Check for a Birthday card in your e-mail. I didn't know how to send it here! Happy Birthday!

Regards to you & John~Deb ;-)

 

SassyDee50@aol.com

Hey Krissy...

                       

I hope you have a wonderful day today! Take some time for yourself. We love you!

                   

                    

Tammy

Joke

There was a guy telling his friend that he and his wife had a serious argument the night before. "But it ended," he said, "when she came crawling to me on her hands and knees."

"What did she say?" asked the friend.

The husband replied, "She said, 'Come out from under that bed, you coward!'"

From Merry

         

Hi John!  Hi Krissy!

 

How are you guys doing?  I think of you so much, and I hope you are "hanging in there."  I can't imagine how difficult it must be, but I do know that you have a great attitude, courage beyond belief, and a firm faith in God.   I hope this will help you in the days ahead as you start other treatments, etc.  I just wanted to remind you I am thinking of you, and I am praying for you.  I believe God will give you the strength you need to face what you have to.  Remember all of us care and love you very much.  So please let us know if we can do ANYTHING at all for you!1

 

I have a real life funny to tell you.  LOL

Dave  noticed that my car had a nail in one of the tires this afternoon.  He said, he was taking my car to get the tire fixed.  I asked him if he got if fixed when he came home.  He said that he had to go to 4 places to get it worked on.  So, he said, "Nope, didn't get it fixed.  But it'll be okay for a while.  I chewed a bunch of gum and put it on there, that ought to last you a couple days."  He said this so seriously I didn't know at first that he was kidding.   (He was!) LOL
xoxo

Love,

Merry

merry1621@aol.com

From Barb

         

Dear Krissy & John,
I pray today finds you in good spirits, knowing how loved you are by so many, especially HE who created all that exists. It comforts me, knowing the trial you're facing, to know that HE is with you always, and more importantly, that you know this.
   You are both such loving, caring, courageous people. I hope you know how much you mean to me, and to your other readers. 

   I hope the sun finds you soon. It is lingering a bit more in our area. I'm loving it!
  Hope I didn't send you the link I included before. But even if I did, I doubt you'll mind. It is uplifting, great food for thought. Take care, okay. I'll be back soon, to check on you.

(((((John- Krissy)))))

Barb
  


Everything

 

Barbpinion@aol.com

Something To Do

Quizland

Hope you two are doing well. About to raise the blood count up one unit!

From Krissy

Gee.  It is late Friday.  Really it's early Saturday morning.  I'm hungry but there's really nothing to eat in this house.  I didn't have time to go grocery shopping today.  That's because I went to the local hospital with John instead.

Just another little setback.  About three days ago John found this big lump in his arm.  It turned out to be an infection under the skin.  At any rate, it has been giving him a fever for a week or two.  We thought the fever was this cold or bronchitis he has been trying to kick.  But it turns out it is this infection he has on his arm, which is causing this giant lump on his arm. 

Well, after hearing about the lump from John's local oncologist on Wednesday, Dr. Claxton had his nurse call John today and tell him that he would need an IV antibiotic.  John was told he would get the Vancomycin (IV antibiotic) at our local hospital every other day (that's 7 doses) for the next 14 days.  All of this will take a big chunk of time out of our schedule, because it takes several hours a day for John to get the IV. 

The good thing about it though, is this time I won't have to be doing home IVs!  I have had to do those in the past.  But the insurance company wants the IVs done in the hospial.  So I am excited about that!  From now on they will either be done at the local hospital or the hospital in Hershey.

So John had a fever of 100 degrees today.  That's not that high, but when he gets a fever, it usually spikes quickly.  I have to watch him this weekend and make sure it doesn't go up too high, or we will have to take him to Hershey Medical Center.  I will have to clean the house this weekend, and pack in preparation of us going, just in case.  

I am kind of tired, but what are you going to do?  You do what you have to do.

By the way, the spleenectomy John was going to have has been cancelled.  Dr. Claxton didn't say exactly why he cancelled it the other day, but he did say it had something to do with John having the transplant instead.

The spleenectomy was to stop the Hemolytic Anemia.  Since it is not going to be resolved immediately, that will mean more frequent transfusions for John.  Also, as the MDS gets worse, there will also be more transfusions.  I am wondering how often John will have to be transfused.  

Okay, so that is the picture.  No, we are not negative.  I am just saying what is going on.

Oh, and Dr. Claxton wants to continue John's chemo.  I am not sure for how many more weeks.  He has already had it for 15 weeks in a row.  Well, there were some spacers in there.  The chemo should stave off the Hemolytic Anemia some and hold back on some of the transfusions.  Sometimes I worry about chemo brain.  Actually, all the time I worry about it.

Amidst all this we do go on and have a normal life.  We have fun together, talk, do chores, go to appointments, watch the news.  Today I went to the craft store and found a hobby.  I can't quite tell you all what it is yet, because I am going to make a couple of presents.  When I am done with them I will take photos of them, and post them after I give them as presents.

Okay, I have to go, You All.  Live big!  I am listening to "I Hope You Dance".  I hope you all dance!  

Love you, Krissy :)

Me

Thought I's give you a website to play with occasionally. If you really like it I will add it to the list in the link journal. If not, no worries!

As I Am

Cam Central

From Sharon

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer

 

buggieboo1@aol.com

From Val

A man was flying from Seattle to San Francisco.  Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs."

Picture this:

All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.

People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

True story !  Have a great day and remember ...

THINGS  AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR.

Update

Hey guys. I'm about to call it a night but just wanted you to know that I added something per Val's request. It is in the About Me section.  It is clickable. I also added a couple of websites to the Links section. Hope you enjoy. Night!

                       Tammy

From Val

Interview With John-From Krissy

Hi you all.  Sorry I haven't written in awhile.  I didn't mean to worry anybody.  I guess I have gone through a little time of getting my bearings.  I am doing much better now though.  I still go through a lot, but am coming into being okay.  I will do what I have to do to be okay. 

Below is an interview I did with John, so you all would know how he is doing.  He preferred to do it this way, as it is easier for him than to write something.  So here we go.

Krissy:  How did you feel when you found out the bone marrow cancer is back? 

John:  Uhmmm... I am doing alright.  I am not upset about the MDS coming back.  I'm disappointed.  I'm a little frustrated.  When I first got the news my reaction was mostly surprise because Dr. Claxton had told me it had a 10% chance of coming back in my lifetime, and then like a month later it is back.  So... uhmm... I think I am taking it pretty well.  I am not depressed, or anxious, or even worrying much about it.

It's like "John gets a Bone Marrow Transplant Part 2".  Only this time I have to worry about my kidneys.

Krissy:  Explain that please.

John:  Well, while recovering from this last bone marrow transplant, the one immunosuppressant drug damaged my kidneys so they shut down completely and I had to go on dialysis for two weeks.  Then the kidneys came back and now function at 20%.  Whatever happens this time I have to make sure they don't dame my kidneys, because I don't want to be on lifetime dialysis.  Things that could hurt my kidneys are chemo, medications... and I don't know what else.  I need to talk to my nephrologist about it. 

Krissy:  So here is a deeper question for you.  What inspires you to go on, John?  I was inspired by your answer to the first question.

John:  I feel like I have no other choice but to go on.  The... uhmm... only other option is to give up and die.  And uhmmm, I think I am just too stubborn to quit!  I have had people tell me my stubbornness is a fault, but there have been many times in my life that it has served me quit well.  And I think having cancer has been one of those times.  There have been times with cancer, and the complications, especially the complications, where it seemed to me like I was up against so much that I might not survive.  But uhmm... my stubborness was the only thing that got me through.

And Krissy's support, because she was always there.  And always standing there bye me.  That counted for a lot.

Krissy:   Thanks John for sharing today.  Can I interview you again in the future?

John:  Sure you can.

From Pat

                          

I have referred to Peregrines and it was between Krissy, John, and me.  But now it is time to let you in on our secret.  St. Peregrine is the Patron Saint of Cancer and also AIDs/HIV patients. I am not Catholic but am wearing my St. Peregrine medal to help me keep focused in my faith that God will help me thru all things.  It is just a little something to hang on to.
This should take you to a page that will tell you a little about him.
http://www.vermontcatholic.org/prayers/novstper.htm

 

This is Charlie Grace and me as I was going thru chemo.  I guess you couldn't tell.  The night after my first chemo I went to bed with a bucket as I heard all the horror stories of chemo and how sick you got.  I wanted to be prepared as with my bad knees I don't move to well.  There was no need for the bucket, I was fine.  The next morning ... that was a different story.  Poor Charlie Grace, my Sheltie threw up 13 times. When my head was getting itchy which was a sign that hair was getting ready to fall out I took control and went to Holiday Hair and had my stylist buzz cut my hair as close to my scalp as possible, so Charlie and I could get use to seeing some scalp.  When the hair fell out it was very small clumps that was easier for me to handle.  Funny thing was Charlie licked a bald spot on his left leg. 

I wore a Tee shirt, flannel shirt, blue jeans and if my head was cold a baseball cap.  I got a wig but it was HOT and ITCHY.  I think I wore it a total of 5 mins. total if that.  I was at that grocery store and the counter man said And how may I help you SIR.  In my sexiest voice I said, I'll take a pound of your .....  I was at WalMart and the same thing happened.  Men just assumed that if a person is bald it is a male. 

I was in line at WalMart and a little boy was in the cart in front of me and he said You don't have any hair.  The look on his mother's face was one that said she wanted to die.  I said you know you are right.  I have some really bad germs in me and the doctors have to give me some really really strong medicines that kill some good cells in the body.  Gee I wonder what good cells they kill? The little boy said Hair Cells.  I said you are right.  When I am finished with the medicine my hair will grow back just as good as before, but I have to get rid of the bad germs first.  Mom had a look of thanks.

Again in WalMart I was walking thru the aisle and one of the associates said from behind I had the same barber you did.  She was a breast cancer survivor also.

ShipAlum@aol.com

From Pat

I don't want to speak for John, but I will speak for only myself ... a cancer survivor. 

From the time of discovery & for the balance of life, an individual

diagnosed with cancer is a survivor. NCCS Charter (National Coalition of Cancer Survivors)

I think those of us going thru Chemo or Radiation know and understand what is going on as we can feel what is happening within our body.  It is rather hard to explain to someone how we feel.  I know that all I wanted was to do anything possible to live to see another day.  I listened to everything my breast surgeon and oncologist said.  I listened to other survivors.  If I had questions I called the oncologist's nurse.  I followed the medicine protocol prior and post each chemo treatment.  I took chemo as the best chance for living a long life, no matter what happened during the treatment.  I was lucky and didn't get sick.  During Taxol I had extreme bone and joint pain and my oncologist changed the last 3 treatments to Taxotere.  The nurses wanted me to come back the next day so I could have the proper pre treatment meds and the oncologist said she didn't think it was necessary and I said if I had a reaction you (nurse) have the antidote to inject in the IV to counteract the reaction and the nurse said yes.  She stay with me during the pre Taxotere IV and then the first 5 mins. of the actual IV.  Janie said Pat I am going to go I think you will be OK.  I was able to get out, I don't feel right. and she asked Where?  I was able to lift hand to the chest area above heart and that was it.  I knew all that was going on but couldn't talk or move.  Janie, looked rather shocked and reached in her pocket and got out the antidote, and the other nurse ran and got my oncologist.  I was told I turned every shade of red to purple and then back thru the colors again.  When everything settled down they told me how calm I was.  Little did they know, I couldn't move.  That was a serious reaction, but they knew what to do and I came thru OK.  You think of Chemo as PAC-MAN.  Instead of marshmallows he is going thruyour body finding leftover cancer cells.  Works for me as there is no cure for breast cancer and I know it can rear its ugly head any time it wants too.

I know that I have been awaken to see the beauty all around me.  I take time to see the roses.  I love to see babies in stores and let parents know how beautiful they are.  I am grateful for each day that I am given.  I hope that what I have said here are words that John would say.

"If you knew for certain
you had a terminal illness -
if you had little time left to live -
you would waste precious little of it!
Well, I'm telling you...
you do have a terminal illness:
It's called birth.
You don't have more than a few years left.
No one does!
So be happy now, without reason -
or you will never be at all."
Dan Millman
From 'The Way of the Peaceful Warrior'

 

ShipAlum@aol.com

Great News!

Two more pints have been donated in John's name! Keep it coming people!

J-Land News

 

Article 1

Article 2

Article 3

Article 4

From Pat

 Peregrine Falcon Page of Pennsylvania The falcons are back and the watches are expecting to find eggs in a couple of weeks.

ShipAlum@aol.com

From Barb

         

Good Morning, John and Krissy.
I came across the link below- enjoyed it and thought you might too.

I pray you are of a quiet peace today, remembering that GOD is ever

with you, and that the two of you are ever in my prayer.

Love you much,
Barb

Alphabets Of Happiness

Barbpinion@aol.com

From Sassy

EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE US LADIES JUST NEED A LAUGH....

He said . . . I don't now why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in
it. She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
*********************
He said . . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I
sit on the sofa.
**********************
He said . . . What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave
you? She said . . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
************************
On a wall in a ladies room . . . "My husband follows me everywhere" Written
just below it . . " I do not"
***********************
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do
the dishes?
A. Both of them.
***************************
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
********************************
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
********************************
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.
********************************
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and
good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
***********************************
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married
women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
************************************
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
***********************************

SassyDee50@aol.com

From Barb

      

Dear Krissy & John,

I always get letters from people asking me about stress management, if I could share some things that have helped me. Of course, the first thing I tell them is how much lighter our burdens become when we've gone to the Lord for help. But the next thing I share is what I'm sharing below, something I came across several months ago. I hope it helps a little. I pray fo your every day, and you're in my heart always.
Much love,
Barb


Stress Management

Barbpinion@aol.com

J-Land News

Article 1

Article 2

From Sharon

(Jelly Bean Prayer)

Red is for the blood He gave.

Green is for the grass He made.

Yellow is for the sun so bright.

Orange is for the edge of night.

Black is for the sins we made.

White is for the grace He gave.

Purple is for His hour of sorrow.

Pink is for our new tomorrow.

An egg full of jelly beans, Colorful and Sweet

Is a prayer, a promise, A loved one's treat!!

Charlene Dickensen, 1997

buggieboo1@aol.com

From Barb

          

Good Morning, John & Krissy.
Wasn't the eclipse awesome? Hope the two of you have a pleasant day. I know times are tough, but the Lord has brought you this far. He'll take you the rest of the way too.

    It is gorgeous out this morning: sunshine, no breeze, blossoms (pink and white ones) filling up the trees, flowers of every color beginning to pop up, and birds are back. I just love listening to them. They wake me every morning. lol

Well, it's better than having a loud alarm clock do it, right?
Take care and know you're in my prayers, okay?
Much love,
Barb

Barbpinion@aol.com

From Val

Once upon a time

~~~~~~~~

in a land far away,

~~~~~~~~

a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess

~~~~~~~~

happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.

~~~~~~~~

The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: " Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.

~~~~~~~~

One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am

~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry

~~~~~~~~

and set up housekeeping in your castle

~~~~~~~~

with my mother,

~~~~~~~~

where you can prepare my meals,

~~~~~~~~

clean my clothes, bear my children,

~~~~~~~~

and forever feel  

  grateful and happy doing so. "
~~~~~~~~

That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sauteed frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't freakin think so.